Bar Jokes (Part 1)

13 Margeritas
A guy walks into a bar and asks for 13 margaritas. The bartender abruptly replies, “Wow sir, that sure is a lot, whats the occasion?”

Two Ropes
Two ropes walk in to a bar, one rope calls the bartender and says “Barkeep, let me get a couple of beers.” The bartender says “I’m sorry we dont serve ropes in here.”

Pirate In A Bar
A young sailor was sitting in a bar having a few drinks when he looks over and sees a pirate. The pirate has a wooden peg-leg, a hook for a hand, and patch over his eye. Unable to resist, the sailor asks “How’d you end up with a peg-leg?”

Drunken Reincarnation
James, as usual, came home really late one Saturday night after being at the bar all night drinking. Not only was he drunk, he was sloppy drunk. He carefully crept into bed next his wife, who fell sleep angry hours earlier, and gave her a goodnight kiss on the check in hopes that she wouldn’t wake up.

Drunken Reincarnation
James, as usual, came home really late one Saturday night after being at the bar all night drinking. Not only was he drunk, he was sloppy drunk. He carefully crept into bed next his wife, who fell sleep angry hours earlier, and gave her a goodnight kiss on the check in hopes that she wouldn’t wake up.

Walk The Line
A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.

Married Life - Going To The Bar
A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

Took My Wife To The Bar
A pissed off wife was complaining about her husband spending all his time at the bar, so one night he took her along.

New FDA Alcohol Warnings
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a loser.

Too Much to Drink
A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket and ordered a double scotch.

Lesbians
A man is sitting in a bar and notices two lovely women across the way. He calls the bartender over and says, “I’d like to buy those two beautiful ladies a drink.”