Blonde Jokes (Part 1)

Milk Bath For Beauty
An older blonde woman heard through a friend that taking a milk bath is good for the skin, will cure stretch marks and make her beautiful again. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk instead of the usual amount.

The Blonde Painter
An ambitious young blonde woman, in need of money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type. She began, door to door, canvassing a wealthy neighborhood for work. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

Cigarette Condoms
A blonde, a brunette and a red head were smoking cigarettes one afternoon. The blonde had Camels, red head had Marlboros, and the brunette had Kools.

Blonde The Builder
Two blonde chicks were building a house together. One blonde was cutting the wood and the other was on a ladder nailing. Before hammering in a nail; the blonde on the ladder would reach into her nail pouch, look at it, and either toss it over her shoulder or proceed to hammer it into the wood.

Intelligence Island
Three blonde women were stranded on an island. While trying to dig their way out, one of them came accross a buried lamp. Suddenly a genie appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish, in return for saving him.

Renting An Adult Movie
A blond decides to do something she’s never done before - rent a dirty movie. She drives to the local Video Warehouse and makes here way to the adult section in the back. After looking around at titles, she selects a something that sounds very stimulating.

A Blonde At Western Union
A blonde goes to the Western Union office and says, “I just have to get an urgent message to my mother in Europe.”

Dear Alcohol
First let me say that I’m a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you’re even around at the holidays (hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we’re stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings).

Blonde, Redhead And Brunette In A Potato Farm
Three girls were on the run from the cops - a red head, a brunette, and a blonde. During the subsequent high speed chase the red head spotted a potato farm and suggested that the girls should hide out there.

I Once Knew A Blonde
What do you get when you mix a blonde joke with a yo momma joke? Well, as long as you’re not blonde or a momma you get, dun dun dun, I Once Knew A Blonde…

Football Finally Makes Sense
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right at the fifty yard line. It was exciting too, a real nail biter. After the game, he asked her if she had a good time.

Alligator Shoes
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

She Was So Blonde
It’s not just your momma who’s got to worry about these jokes, even blonde’s arent safe (when were they?) anymore. Kinda of an adaption of the “Yo Momma’s So Stupid” jokes with some new additions. So, without further ado - She Was So Blonde…

Stuck In A Snowstorm
While driving during a horrible snowstorm, a young blonde became disoriented and lost. She remembered what her father had once told her. ”If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.” Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes.

I Love Older Women
To set this up, I’ve been married for nearly 25 years. The other day I took a look at my wife said, “Honey, 25 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV… but I got to sleep with a hot 25 year old blonde every night.”

Redhead, Brunette and Blonde At A Firing Squad
Three women are about to be executed for crimes they committed. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead, and one’s a blonde.